The Muse has been silent of late, but I am encouraged by the blogging of a friend to start up my blog to address my particular issues. I don't claim to have a special relationship with God or whatever - this soapbox is mine alone. How's that for a bit of free writing? Non sequiturs are my worst enemas.
I had started this blog with a spirito-religio slant, with perhaps an emphasis on acedia (a $10 word meaning laziness), but since I am also blessed with the "dangerous gift" of a mental health diagnosis (while it does have aspects of a chronic illness, I also have a creative - perhaps annoying to you neurotypicals - personality).
My specific diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder. I also suffer from anxiety, both chronic and acute. To those of you not familiar with the DSM (is it IV or V now?), this is a combination of schizophrenia and manic depression. My wife also thinks I am on the autistic spectrum. Perhaps a bit of OCD? That bit of anxiety might explain some things: when money is tight, I really want another book. But I can quit any time I want, you understand. Bibliomania means never having to worry about having something to read.
I will be presenting insights from the Ignatian retreat (Retreat In Daily Life) that I am participating in is a drawn-out version of Ignatius' Spiritual Exercises. Instead of taking thirty days, it takes thirty weeks. Each day has a Scripture passage, a meditative/prayer session, and a spot of journaling. Every two weeks, I meet with a spiritual director.
The first bit has us understanding how much God loves us, but at the same time, we are nothing (but in a good way, you understand). Also, God is inescapable, like a (perhaps persistently unwanted) lover. This is perhaps more obvious in the mystical writers like St John of the Cross & Teresa of Avila.
I got hooked on religious writing last Lent, but I can stop anytime I like.
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