On Hell and Sin

The Ignatian retreat seems to be focusing quite a bit on sin, with occasional references to the ultimate consequence of going to hell. I have read elsewhere that it is a purgative path. At first I thought that meant that it was apophatic, but that means refers to the ultimate unknowableness of God. Given that God's first language is silence, this makes sense. Focusing on sin is Ignatian spirituality's way of getting to the good stuff.

That said, I am having trouble with the whole notion of self as cesspool, as weeping sore. Yes, we all sin involuntarily, even those of us who try to walk a virtuous road. But as I may have said elsewhere, there is sin (or sins) and then there is Sin. Our sins add up to Sin, or we commit sins because of Sin, our essential brokenness, which alienates us from whomever we sin against, God, our neighbor, or ourselves (strange as that may sound).

But focusing on sin in this way seems to me too much like being on the pity wagon--Oh woe is me, I'm a sinner. I've sinned all over myself again. How can you make progress if you are so down on yourself? Can you tell I grew up during the self-esteem generation? 

Dwelling on sin in this way leads quite naturally to hell. The progression is an infinite one--a series of infinitesimal rejections of God. The calculus of sin; each leads to the next. You get that much farther away. Next thing you know, you're breathing your last and, wouldn't you know? there -is- an afterlife! Not what you were expecting. And you thought Facebook was bad. 

I have difficulty in believing in a place of torment after death. Hell has been defined as the absence of God. But isn't He everywhere? Stealing an idea from my spiritual director, I  maintain that it is quite possible to tune God out (just ask my son). Hell is where those people hangout. 

So how do you avoid locking God out of your life? I'd say incrementally. Start with the small "yes". Instead of saying that I'll pray later, do something now. Even if it seems like nothing. 

After all, Christ has no mouth but yours.